failegaidin

The sound of multiple drawers being opened and shut drew Chloe upstairs when she came in from her gardening. As she neared the top landing, her breathing labored from the effort, she realized that the noise was coming from Jack's bedroom. Frowning, she walked toward the half-closed door; she hadn't even known that he was home from the store yet. Pushing the door open quietly, she moved into the room.

His name died on her lips as she took in the sight before her. A large suitcase lay open on the bed and Jack was hurriedly stuffing things into it. Tears stung the back of her eyes and her knees wobbled, threatening to drop her right there. She opened her mouth a couple times with no result before she finally found her voice.

"Are you going somewhere?" she asked, her voice cracking.

Jack spun around in surprise, staring at her for a moment in panic before turning back to the suitcase. "I'm leaving."

Chloe felt her tears spill over, and she suddenly felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room. She staggered back a couple of steps, grabbing the footboard to steady herself.

"Why?" she whispered.

"It doesn't matter," he replied gruffly.

She looked around the room desperately, trying to gain control of herself. Her eyes rested again on him as he emptied another drawer.

"Were you going to say goodbye?"

His hands froze above the suitcase, his eyes closing. He stayed like that for a moment before taking a deep breath and returning to his packing. Chloe laughed bitterly, the sound mixing with the sobs that escaped.

"Well that's just great, Jack. If you didn't want to be here, you should have just said something awhile ago instead of sneaking out of here like a coward."

Her words felt like a sucker punch that went straight to his gut. He found himself struggling for breath as his hands started shaking. Focusing on the task at hand, he desperately tried to ignore her gaze, her eyes full of hurt and confusion.

“I deserve to know why,” she said quietly. When he continued to ignore her and pack his clothes, Chloe marched up to him and spun him around forcefully, making him face her. “I need to know!” she screamed at him.

When he finally lifted his eyes to her, Chloe stepped back from the lifelessness she saw in them. “I can’t do this anymore, Chloe. I can’t pretend to be a family with you. It’s not fair to me, and it’s certainly not fair to you. I don’t feel that way about you…I never could. It’s better if we just it here before your baby comes and gets attached.”

He wasn’t surprised by the first slap, but the second one caught him off guard. Tears leapt to his eyes from the sting, but also from the look on her face. Her lower lip trembled, but her eyes were hard and filled with rage and betrayal.

“Go to hell, Bauer,” she hissed.

When she had stalked out of the room, Jack resumed his packing, unable to stem the tears that fell from his eyes.

***

She wasn't there when he came downstairs. His heart still ached from her last words to him, and as he rested his hand on the knob to open the door, he realized that he had left his keys on the counter. Setting his suitcase on the floor, he moved through the living room and into the kitchen in search of them.

Walking by the kitchen table, he stopped suddenly, looking out the sliding glass door. Chloe sat on the steps of the deck, one hand on her swollen belly as she cried. He told himself that he should just leave, that he would only make things worse by going out and trying to comfort her.

But then his mind flashed back to the past four months. Chloe had taken him in and watched over him while he recovered from him time in China. When he had found out that she was pregnant and that Morris had disappeared, he had offered to leave – he didn't want to be a burden to her when she needed to take care of herself. But she had just scowled at him and told him to shut up. They had easily fallen into a routine, and for the first time in ages Jack had felt like everything was going to be okay.

He suddenly hated himself for the lies he had told her upstairs. The words hadn’t come easy, but he was doing it for her own good, and he would do anything to protect her and her baby. But as he watched her body shake and listened to her cries, he realized that the pain he had caused her wasn’t worth it.

His decision made, Jack was out the door in an instant, moving quickly across the deck and down the stairs, turning so that he was facing her. Chloe looked up in astonishment as he knelt on the stair below her, bringing himself between her knees and nuzzling his face against the crook of her neck.

"I'm sorry," he breathed against her skin. "I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing, Chloe. I didn’t mean it. I swear to God I didn’t mean any of it. I don't want to leave you. Please don't make me leave you."

She ran her fingers through his hair gently, her fingers moving automatically as her brain struggled to catch up. "You didn’t…why would you say those things if you didn’t mean them?" She forced his head up so that she could look at him, cradling his face in her hands. His own tears began to fall as he looked into her red and puffy eyes. "Start from the beginning. Tell me what this is all about."

Jack took a deep breath and moved off of his knees to sit between her legs. Tugging on his shoulders gently, Chloe pulled him until he was leaning against her chest. One arm she draped over his shoulder and down his torso, while the other continued to run through his short hair.

“While I was at the store,” he started, staring out across the lawn. “I…I ran into Heller.” He felt Chloe tense behind him, her arm instinctively tightening around him. “We tried to make small talk…and then he mentioned that he had heard I was staying with you and that you were pregnant. Then he…” Jack’s voice grew thick as he tried to swallow his emotion. “Then he told me that I should leave you. That I should walk away now before I got you and your baby killed. The more I thought about it…the more I realized that he was right.”

“Oh Jack, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I knew that if I told you my reasoning, you would fight me on it. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make you see…I thought this was the only way. I thought that if I made you hate me, you would be safe. Your baby would be safe.”

“So…you didn’t mean it? Those things you said?”

The hitch in her voice nearly broke him. Standing up quickly, he moved behind her and sat down, pulling her against his chest tightly. “Not a single word,” he said fiercely. “I swear to you, Chloe. I was only trying to do what I thought was right.”

“What changed your mind? Why didn’t you just leave?”

He buried his face in her neck again. “I saw you sitting out here and I knew that I couldn’t do it. That I couldn’t let you believe that I didn’t care about you. That I didn’t care about your baby.” With those words, he rested his hands tentatively on her stomach. Chloe rested her hands on his, entwining their fingers.

“Why did you listen to him?”

Jack sighed. “I’ve lost too many people, Chloe. Kim was kidnapped. Teri was killed. Tony and Michelle…I couldn’t risk you too.”

Chloe turned in his arms, taking his face in her hands. “Jack, don’t you get it? If they want to hurt you, they will come after Kim or me regardless of where you are. And we’ll die missing you, wishing that we had been with you, thinking that you didn’t really love us because you walked out on us. It’s better to spend whatever time we have with you.”

He smiled at her then, leaning his forehead against hers. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, wiping away the last of her tears. “And I love you. You need to know that.”

“And you’ll stay?”

“As long as you’ll have me.”

Jack ran his fingers through her hair before leaning in to gently kiss her. She sighed, leaning into him and locking her hands in his hair. Jack’s hands drifted down, one resting on her hip and the other on her stomach, his fingers rubbing slow circles. Their kisses were slow and deep, both taking their time to revel in the feel of the other. Eventually they pulled back as air became a necessity.

“You really forgive me?” Jack asked, “After how much I hurt you?”

“I know why you did it, Jack. I understand you better than you think. Your assurance that you didn’t mean it is all I need.”
“Really?”

“Well,” she smirked at him. “I might need a little more convincing.”

“I’d be happy to oblige you,” he murmured as he captured her lips again.