Two More Weeks
May. 5th, 2007 09:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
failegaidinI realize that I should be packing. Or cleaning. I should be doing something productive. Instead I'm sitting on my ass in bed, watching hours of the X-Files. It's an intriguing show, and it's easy to just keep clicking "Play." I really like Mulder and Scully....of course, I find myself waiting for them to get together :)
I moved the big stuff today - with Jen's help. I was just going to take a few boxes of books, but she wanted to fill the entire car. So we ended up moving the whole desk, one bookshelf, three boxes of books, my Xbox, a bag of clothes, and my stool. So now I'm trying to just throw shit away. I'm on my second trash bag, and things are looking better, but...I think I've still got a long way to go. I can't even go to bed yet because there's so much crap on it. I really want to get to packing the books and DVDs. But I have zero boxes. Count 'em - ZERO. And yet 200 books to pack and probably 100 movies...so what am I supposed to do?
I think my mom is mad at me. She really wanted me to move back into the trailer when she and her boyfriend moved out. But I don't want to stay here alone. It's out in the woods, and I can admit that I'm afraid of the dark. And there are always problems with it - the pipes freeze, the hot water heater explodes, etc etc. But I'd rather live with Mimi and Grampa. It's amazing how much I want to live like a normal person...with a family and with regular meals and in a real house. Maybe I won't be so lonely. Maybe I won't feel so disconnected. Living alone in the trailer would only intensify those feelings. But since Ray (her icky boyfriend) is moving in at the same time I'm moving out, it doesn't look as though I'll get much help. Every time I ask for her help in getting boxes, I get the answer of "Well Ray is moving too..." UGH. Two more weeks from today and I'll be living in Flanders.
UGH - and my ex-stepmother has called me four times today. She says she's really sick. She wants me to come over and help with my little brothers. But I just don't have the energy for her. Every time she's sick, she acts like she's dying. I don't think I've ever seen her be sick and say "Don't worry, I'll be okay." It's always, "I'm dying" or "My chest hurts" or "I can't breathe" or "I just can't get up." I feel bad for my little brothers. They don't deserve to go through this drama. But at the same time, I can't let myself get sucked back into that HELL. I hate the fact that I cringe every time I hear my phone singing "In The AIr Tonight" (the ring set specifically for her).
Alright, guess I'm done ranting for now. I should at least clean my bed off before I try and go to sleep....
I moved the big stuff today - with Jen's help. I was just going to take a few boxes of books, but she wanted to fill the entire car. So we ended up moving the whole desk, one bookshelf, three boxes of books, my Xbox, a bag of clothes, and my stool. So now I'm trying to just throw shit away. I'm on my second trash bag, and things are looking better, but...I think I've still got a long way to go. I can't even go to bed yet because there's so much crap on it. I really want to get to packing the books and DVDs. But I have zero boxes. Count 'em - ZERO. And yet 200 books to pack and probably 100 movies...so what am I supposed to do?
I think my mom is mad at me. She really wanted me to move back into the trailer when she and her boyfriend moved out. But I don't want to stay here alone. It's out in the woods, and I can admit that I'm afraid of the dark. And there are always problems with it - the pipes freeze, the hot water heater explodes, etc etc. But I'd rather live with Mimi and Grampa. It's amazing how much I want to live like a normal person...with a family and with regular meals and in a real house. Maybe I won't be so lonely. Maybe I won't feel so disconnected. Living alone in the trailer would only intensify those feelings. But since Ray (her icky boyfriend) is moving in at the same time I'm moving out, it doesn't look as though I'll get much help. Every time I ask for her help in getting boxes, I get the answer of "Well Ray is moving too..." UGH. Two more weeks from today and I'll be living in Flanders.
UGH - and my ex-stepmother has called me four times today. She says she's really sick. She wants me to come over and help with my little brothers. But I just don't have the energy for her. Every time she's sick, she acts like she's dying. I don't think I've ever seen her be sick and say "Don't worry, I'll be okay." It's always, "I'm dying" or "My chest hurts" or "I can't breathe" or "I just can't get up." I feel bad for my little brothers. They don't deserve to go through this drama. But at the same time, I can't let myself get sucked back into that HELL. I hate the fact that I cringe every time I hear my phone singing "In The AIr Tonight" (the ring set specifically for her).
Alright, guess I'm done ranting for now. I should at least clean my bed off before I try and go to sleep....
