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Shitty Day
Mar. 28th, 2007 09:38 pmAlright, I've never really used this thing for personal comments, but something happened today to warrant a blog rant. So I shall rant. I realize that most of you only know me from my Chlack fics, but bear with me.
First, a little background: My mom and dad divorced when I was ten. My dad married another woman (Lisa) and they had two kids (my little brothers whom I love dearly) and then divorced about 5 years ago. My mom married again too, but he was evil and died of a heart attack 5 years ago. My last couple years of college, she (my mom) started seeing this guy Ray. Ray is my dad's ex-best friend. He is also friends with Lisa. Lisa has a boyfriend and is not interested in Ray, but she can be really manipulative and she exaggerates like there's no tomorrow. But she's been there for me for the past 12 years and I appreciate that. Side note: my father and I can't stand each other. He cheats on every woman he's with and thinks he can do no wrong and has also hit most of the women he's been with and he's an alcoholic. He threw me out of the house two months after my stepdad died because I stayed friends with Lisa. We reconciled for a while until I decided that I needed to get my life together before dealing with more of his manipulative power-struggle CRAP. So I cut off communication 2 years ago. We haven't spoken since.
Still with me?
Okay.
Three months ago Lisa let me listen in on a phone conversation between her and Ray. She had been telling me for more than a year that Ray was hitting on her and stuff, but I didn't believe her. But then I listened in on this phone call. He said that he wasn't involved with my mother (when he had told me he was) and that he just wanted to be with Lisa (despite the fact that she's involved with someone else). He went on and on about how depressed he is and how he just wants to be with Lisa and that if she (Lisa) would be with him, he would drop everything (including my mother) and go to her. I also read emails he wrote to Lisa basically stating the same things. So I told my mother. Because she does not deserve to be used like that and she doesn't deserve to lose ANOTHER man to Lisa. So I told her. I cried. She had a talk with Ray, and apparenlty everything was hunky-dory. I never got the full story of that one because mommy and I don't talk about our feelings. But I was not okay with Ray. Instead of being at our house all the time (I live with my mom), she started spending all her time at his house. FINE. I could live with that.
Ray did not contact Lisa for almost 3 months.
Today he called her. She called him back because she missed the call. Now, this is all hearsay since Lisa told me that this is what happened. But you can only not believe someone for so long when evidence points to the fact that they might be telling the truth. So, when I say that he said, know that Lisa said he said. I just can't keep typing that over and over again. ANYWAY. Ray said that he is not in a relationship with my mother (that they've never had sex, that they don't kiss - and I know that last one is a lie since I've WITNESSED it); that I need to keep my nose out of other people's business; that I'm 22 and I don't know anything; that I've never been in a relationship, so how could I POSSIBLY understand; that I'm a snoop; that I'm ruining things for my mother; and then the bastard compared me to MY FATHER. I have known this man my entire life. He has been a father figure to me since my dad sucks beyond belief and wants nothing to do with me because I'm a bad daughter and brainwashed into this Christianity thing. How could he possibly turn around and say those things??? It was beyond hurtful to hear and I feel betrayed all over again.
I realize that was a pretty personal rant and you guys have no idea who any of these people are. But I had to get it out. I can't go to my mother again because I have no proof, and it didn't do anything the first time. But I can't just deal with this man in my life. And he might be moving in with us for a while. And I am NOT okay with that. This blows.
And on top of all that, Sanjaya didn't go home tonight. Bastard.
Sexy Kiefer pic to make me feel better.
First, a little background: My mom and dad divorced when I was ten. My dad married another woman (Lisa) and they had two kids (my little brothers whom I love dearly) and then divorced about 5 years ago. My mom married again too, but he was evil and died of a heart attack 5 years ago. My last couple years of college, she (my mom) started seeing this guy Ray. Ray is my dad's ex-best friend. He is also friends with Lisa. Lisa has a boyfriend and is not interested in Ray, but she can be really manipulative and she exaggerates like there's no tomorrow. But she's been there for me for the past 12 years and I appreciate that. Side note: my father and I can't stand each other. He cheats on every woman he's with and thinks he can do no wrong and has also hit most of the women he's been with and he's an alcoholic. He threw me out of the house two months after my stepdad died because I stayed friends with Lisa. We reconciled for a while until I decided that I needed to get my life together before dealing with more of his manipulative power-struggle CRAP. So I cut off communication 2 years ago. We haven't spoken since.
Still with me?
Okay.
Three months ago Lisa let me listen in on a phone conversation between her and Ray. She had been telling me for more than a year that Ray was hitting on her and stuff, but I didn't believe her. But then I listened in on this phone call. He said that he wasn't involved with my mother (when he had told me he was) and that he just wanted to be with Lisa (despite the fact that she's involved with someone else). He went on and on about how depressed he is and how he just wants to be with Lisa and that if she (Lisa) would be with him, he would drop everything (including my mother) and go to her. I also read emails he wrote to Lisa basically stating the same things. So I told my mother. Because she does not deserve to be used like that and she doesn't deserve to lose ANOTHER man to Lisa. So I told her. I cried. She had a talk with Ray, and apparenlty everything was hunky-dory. I never got the full story of that one because mommy and I don't talk about our feelings. But I was not okay with Ray. Instead of being at our house all the time (I live with my mom), she started spending all her time at his house. FINE. I could live with that.
Ray did not contact Lisa for almost 3 months.
Today he called her. She called him back because she missed the call. Now, this is all hearsay since Lisa told me that this is what happened. But you can only not believe someone for so long when evidence points to the fact that they might be telling the truth. So, when I say that he said, know that Lisa said he said. I just can't keep typing that over and over again. ANYWAY. Ray said that he is not in a relationship with my mother (that they've never had sex, that they don't kiss - and I know that last one is a lie since I've WITNESSED it); that I need to keep my nose out of other people's business; that I'm 22 and I don't know anything; that I've never been in a relationship, so how could I POSSIBLY understand; that I'm a snoop; that I'm ruining things for my mother; and then the bastard compared me to MY FATHER. I have known this man my entire life. He has been a father figure to me since my dad sucks beyond belief and wants nothing to do with me because I'm a bad daughter and brainwashed into this Christianity thing. How could he possibly turn around and say those things??? It was beyond hurtful to hear and I feel betrayed all over again.
I realize that was a pretty personal rant and you guys have no idea who any of these people are. But I had to get it out. I can't go to my mother again because I have no proof, and it didn't do anything the first time. But I can't just deal with this man in my life. And he might be moving in with us for a while. And I am NOT okay with that. This blows.
And on top of all that, Sanjaya didn't go home tonight. Bastard.
Sexy Kiefer pic to make me feel better.
